That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
