I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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