i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
