yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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