He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
