Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
