what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
