So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
