And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
