I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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