dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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