Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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