This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
