i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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