Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
