Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
God, I missed his penis.
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