did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
