I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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