Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
As shirtless as possible
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Randomize
