i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
