Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Can you bring me the toilet please
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
