All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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