My nipple is on Facebook.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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