You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
