If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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