True but thats because hes a fetus.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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