Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
