i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
