After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
