so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
