actually, I'm a sock model
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
