just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
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