I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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