why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
