so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
