there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
