low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
