You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
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