i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
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