We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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