you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
