it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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