I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize