I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
