Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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