You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
