please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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