You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
