Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
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