I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
