The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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