I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
